Still Becoming

Four years ago this month, I started on a journey. One to change my name. To change the way I see the world. To try and become the greatest version of myself that I could be. In that time, I could have gotten another undergraduate degree, which makes sense I guess, because it certainly has been an education. One I still haven’t gotten my degree in. I’m still learning. Still growing. Still becoming who I am supposed to be.

I guess the biggest thing I have learned in that time is that there really is no arrival point, in which I can say, YEP. THIS IS IT. I’M DONE. I may have believed it once, but I no longer think that there is a point in which I can say I have nothing more to learn about myself. Every day is a new challenge and lesson. And some days, I don’t pass.

A lot of this journey has been laden with failure. I’ve failed to crowdfund books. I’ve failed to go to conventions or make podcasts I promised. I’ve failed to even post consistently sometimes. I talk a lot on social media about my successes, and so when I see people I haven’t in a long time, they’re all like WOW SIS, YOU FLOURISHING, not knowing that I spent every night that week crying myself to sleep.

But I’d like to think this blog has been a place where I’ve been more vulnerable. Y’all who have been around for some time have seen both the best and the worst of me. Seen the times I won and all the things I lost. That’s one thing I want to continue. I wanna keep being real with you lovely people.

The person I have become since I started this blog is a person still in progress. I can’t promise that I’ll post every day or that I will achieve every goal or conquer every demon this year. I can promise though that I won’t give up. I can promise I am going to give everything in me to keep becoming the best version of Elayna that I can be. And I hope you’ll join me along the way.

2 thoughts on “Still Becoming

  1. This post is a reflection of your true identity who acknowledge every part of life. We all learn,win, fail, growth and this what makes us. Such an amazing post!

    Like

Leave your musings...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s