I’ve typed up and deleted about a dozen different versions of this post so far, because with all the words at my disposal, none seem fitting enough for the weight of this announcement. So I suppose I’ll say it simply…
As of this writing, the Kickstarter campaign I launched to publish my first novel in verse, the book I’ve been writing about writing on this blog for YEARS, is live, and has raised just over $2,000 so far. There is still a long way to go before reaching the goal, but I’m over the moon already at the support it’s gotten so far.
Deciding to take this path is not something I considered lightly. I’ve spent the later half of summer going over and over every option and thinking my way through all the outcomes…
Am I nuts for deciding to self publish this very weird, not-easily-defineable genre book in verse, when all the agents rejecting me are saying “I don’t know how to market this?“
Or am I making the absolute right call because the niche nature of the story I am trying to tell is better served existing outside of the confines of traditional publishing?
To be honest, I still don’t fully know the answer to either of those questions. What I do know is that when I finished the most recent draft, the book finally felt ready.
Every time I’ve read through a completed version of the manuscript, there’s been A TON of things that needed to be cut, changed, or entirely rewritten. With this latest draft, that feeling was gone. I even read through the whole thing a second time, just to make sure I hadn’t been delusional on the first go. I printed out all 300-something pages of it so I could read and take notes on a physical copy,
But if anything, the second read through made me even more sure. While it still requires the necessary editing and polishing all books require to make ready for publication, the story has never been more fully realized than it is now.
THIS is the book I have been trying to write all these years. This book with its sapphic friends to lovers slowburn, with its exploration of the intersections of fatness and mental health, with it’s disaster bisexual main character whose hardest battle is believeing in herself as much as the people who love her do—this is the story I want to put out into the world. This is the book that I needed as a fat, closeted, depressed, teen who didn’t know how to love herself.
I won’t surgarcoat it. The odds of a self published book like this ever hitting bestseller lists is slim, and by deciding to go this way, I may never experience the kind of wide spread success of my traditionally published peers. But for this story? The one that’s been so close to my heart all my life? To have it be entirely within my creative control feels exhilerating as hell.
Thankfully, my life experiences and career history (working in marketing, sales, and having a passion for design) has provided me with the unique set of skills that will lend themselves well to the many hats I’ll need to wear as an independent publisher. If it were not for that, and the fact that I already successfully kickstarted two smaller poetry books, I don’t think that this would be a path I could attempt to consider.
But honestly? I have never been more excited for anything in my life, and if you know my enthusiastic ass, you know that is saying something. There’s a line in the book where Piper says, “I feel a beginning in my bones,” and that’s a beginning I feel right now too whenever I think about the road ahead.
I’ve been waiting for this moment since I was a starry-eyed teenager just dreaming of other worlds, and it is for that inner child, and for Piper, that I’m ready to fight like hell to get this story told.
As always, Alteria awaits…