Saved Me

when i look at the
long narrative of my life,
it has been the family i found
that more than anyone,
has saved me.

the ones who along the way
have met me,
have seen me,
& understood me,
somehow better than anyone
who ever shared blood with me.

they’ve come to know
my idiosyncrasies & codings
and somehow said,
“yes, please, be more of yourself.”

they have taught me
to fight back the demons
that would have me believe
i’m unloveable or unworthy.
when i fear i’m nothing
more than a monster of who
i used to be, they remind me
of my unbreakable humanity,
and that mistakes do not make me
someone who can never be forgiven.
they’ve taught me that no ghost
should have a hold over my past,
and that i, and my heart,
make my own future.

without this family,
i cannot imagine who i’d be,
but i know it would be someone
whose life was far more empty.

This one goes out to my dear friends that I got to spend the weekend with at the Supernatural convention in Nashville with this December. I’ll never forget your kindness and the lovely times we shared together.

This post was originally featured in Queery Letters, which is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Featured Photo by Elayna Mae Darcy (c) 2022

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