I went back to my shire,
experienced a homegoing
of the soul, and found
I was not the same.

Every great legend
tried to teach me that
after the adventure
the hero never
goes home who they were.
Wisdom is always
won the war way,
and it is why I
am only now
beginning to understand
all the things they
claimed I would
when I grew older.

If all life is a story
and I am blessed enough
to make it to ninety,
then the first book
of my trilogy is ending,
and a new tide turns
to carry me to
book two — 
a double entendre
of the surrealist kind.

As I leave behind
this era, I still feel
far too young to be
considered any kind of sage,
but what I have been through
has rendered me an elder.

I want to be someone
the younger queers look up and see,
knowing that though
they may have their own
epic battles ahead,
at the end of all things,
they will survive, thrive,
and find joy instead.

---

The is the May 2023 installment of the 11 Months, 11 Readings series, which features a new poem each month inspired by an Oreanam Oracle card that is drawn by the author on the first day of each month.

Want to read more of my work? Check out my latest book, UNVEIL ME: the complete duology & other poems, which features my first two full collections, as well as a number of new poems, and even a few which were first published here on this newsletter. It is available exclusively in Hardback & Kindle on Amazon, or as an ebook throughmy shop on Gumroad.

Visit stillthestars.com to find out how to get copies of my YA fantasy novel in verse, which features the Oreanam Oracle deck in the story.

This post was originally shared on Queery Letters, a reader supported publication. To subscribe, visit elayna.substack.com.

Featured Photo by Elayna Mae Darcy © 2023