Hope in the Night

After the year 2020, I don’t really make resolutions anymore, at least not like I used to. It can be one of the million things filed away under the heading, “Things From The Before”.

That being said, I’ve always been a very goal oriented, textbook Virgo when it comes to looking ahead, so while I’m going into this with the acknowledgement that I am under no one’s pressure but my own to chase my dreams, I do want to set a few intentions to follow through on this year that I thought I would share with you all.

For starters, being more fearless when it comes to putting my work out there. Launching this very newsletter has been my first step in that, even if it did technically happen at the end of last year rather than the beginning of this one. I want to allow myself more freedom to dream, to put my soul-bearing words out there in hopes that someone, somewhere might connect with them.

It helped that to ring in the new year, a poem of mine about reflections on the passing of time was published in tiny wren lit, which you can read below.

Screenshot of a white background with black text that says “tiny wren lit” in the header. Below it, it says, “A New Year’s Eve Reflection” by Elayna Mae Darcy. The short poem reads: “Rest now, knowing this ending did not destroy you. You are always just beginning.”

I am also happy to report (this newsletter being the only folks I’m sharing this with prior to publication) that I have another piece coming out later this month in the next issue of just femme and dandy. That one is a poem called “Parable of the Boots”, and I absolutely cannot wait to share it with you all when it’s live.

Another thing I am looking forward to in 2022 is reading more widely. Last year was a watershed moment for my reading life, as I read 36 books in the course of 12 months. For folks who consume whole novels in an afternoon and have goodreads goals that soar much higher, that may not seem like a huge amount. But given that my previous record for most books read in a year was 16, to have more than doubled that felt like a tremendous personal win that I hope to continue chasing the high of this year.

Just yesterday, after running a poll on Twitter, I started my first new read for the year, RISE TO THE SUN by the inimitable Leah Johnson, who also wrote YOU SHOULD SEE ME IN A CROWN, one of my very favorite reads from last year. Here are a few others from that 36 book list that I adored by queer authors that should 200% be on your TBR.

Small banner featuring the book covers of the titles: CEMETERY BOYS by Aiden Thomas, ONCE & FUTURE by Amy Rose Capetta & Cori McCarthy, and ONE LAST STOP by Casey McQuiston

CEMETERY BOYS by Aiden Thomas
A trans boy falls for the ghost he accidentally raised while trying to prove his magic. This was my first read of last year and honestly? I don’t know if anything I read after topped it. A fantastic YA adventure that fires on every cylinder.

The ONCE & FUTURE Duology by Amy Rose Capetta and Cori McCarthy
King Arthur in space, but make it gay — this duology stole my heart entirely and absolutely cemented my undying love for sci-fi/fantasy mash ups.

ONE LAST STOP by Casey McQuiston
I remember this book being pitched as “Kate & Leopold but make it sapphic” and let me fucking tell you, this utter gem of a book did not disappoint. August and Jane are so wonderful and I love love loved this book more than a blurb can say.

My final intention I hope to carry through this new year is to be more disciplined in other areas of my life beyond the world of writing. I have spent so many years throwing myself full throttle into all of my writing pursuits that I’ve let other things fall by the wayside. I want to take better care of myself this year, especially since it’s looking like season 3 of this panorama is shaping up to be just as, if not more, nasty than when it began.

I know there’s a lot of despair out there, but I have to believe that there’s a dawn coming, even if we’re still only in the throes of our darkest night. If you’re still reading this, I hope you’re choosing to believe that with me, and know that if you don’t have the strength to right now, that’s okay too. I’ll have hope enough for the both of us.

This post was originally published as a Queery Letters monthly missive for January 2022.

Queery Letters is a reader-supported publication. To support my work, consider becoming a $5 a month subscriber.

elaynamusings.com | @elaynamae on Twitter | destielayna on TikTok

Featured Image by Elayna Mae Darcy © 2022

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